summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
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I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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