During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
