i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
