"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
