i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
