I didn't shave. On purpose
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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