Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize