I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
They have beer where we have blood.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
