Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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