just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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