I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Operation Purity has been aborted
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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