just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
