at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
