Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize