Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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