If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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