why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
