Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
