He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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