it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
