it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
ttyl tear gas
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
