Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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