Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
