i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
