I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
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After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
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I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize