It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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