apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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