I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
