I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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