One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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