i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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