literally had 100 drinks last night.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
