I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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