im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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