1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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