My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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