if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
