I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize