Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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