I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
