Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
