all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize