do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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