I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
