it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
