Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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