Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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