1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize