idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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