This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
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