I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
