I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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