Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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