The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
