I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
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