I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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