so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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