I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
