I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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