We named our party play list daddy issues
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
